Update

I haven't posted on this in awhile. Jennifer is no longer rooming with me and she is somewhere else, wherever that is. And, she owes me a key to my apartment. Last I can think of she and her hubby got back together. Now I am on to new issues.

Considering Everything

Wow, even though I've got readers on my other blog I wanted to go ahead and post here. Maybe the fact that nobody reads this is somewhat reassuring so that I don't have to deal with anyone at work pestering me about it. Not that many people at work read what I write.

I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm burnt out or maybe I'm just regrouping, but I haven't a clue as to what I should be doing. Correction, I have no idea what I should be doing with the direction of my life. I have no idea what I am suppose to do next after I graduate. I have a job, but it doesn't pay well enough. I can go and travel abroad, but I don't know how I would react to leaving and then coming back in a year. A year long contract is a comittment. Aside from that, I got nothing...I'm too burned out thinking about things that I can't bring myself to write about them, even though I really, really, really want to.

Post

It finally posted on this site, yay!

Checking something

I keep writing concerning M.Y.S.P.A.C....E... yet they don't publish and they say they do.

Concerning my last post, that wasn't.

I have no idea why my last post didn't work...do they have something against me saying I moved my blog to M.Y.S.P.A.C.E. Hmmmm. http://www.myspace.com/entity_of_thought Follow this, and I'm not attaching the hyperlink...don't want to attract attention...fear the attention.

MySpace

Howdy anyone who reads this...due to the fact I actually have a readership on my MySpace blog, even thought it isn't nearly as pretty, I have decided to update that blog regularly. http://www.myspace.com/entity_of_thought This is the link. See you there.

I shall dub thee J. Cash and thee...no idea

Okay, so spur of the moment-ish decision. I went on-line looking for a ukulele and I ended up coming across a deal for an acoustic guitar and a mandolin, were I paid ninety-nine dollars for both. I also got two harmonicas, one in C and one in G. It was somewhat a spur of the moment decision, but I spent long enough locating the ones I liked and the money I was willing to spend. So for what I was willing to spend, those two came up. I received the instruments one and a half days later. The guitar is black and the mandolin is a sunburst lacquer. Who is ready to rock out? Right, anyway I am thinking it will be a fun hobby to learn, and if anything I’ll have some nice instruments to decorate with if nothing else. Maybe I’ll give names to them. Perhaps the guitar can be Cash and the Mandolin can be…no idea; bad idea.

Well I actually got some rest last night. I went home and started to practice the guitar when I fell asleep. I awoke two or so hours later and crawled into bed, as soon as I could stand due to parts of my body falling asleep. Yeah, that sounded stupid, standing up so I could crawl into bed. Well I actually fell asleep in a reasonable amount of time, and I awoke at two in the morning in time for work, thanks to my alarms. I wonder how long I would have slept if I hadn’t set them. I didn’t read my bible last night, so I’m a bit bummed on that for my religious reasons.

I realized this isn’t a funny rant. I got sleep, I have no complaints, the creative juices are not flowing. Ew, get a mop.

Back to the instrument topic, I hope that learning how to play will open new doors for me. I doubt they will be social doors, where I get invited to cool parties or jam sessions. In my dreams right; am I right or am I right? I think that my appreciation for the music I listen to will go up and maybe having this hobby will allow for me to have a broader knowledge base to have more meaningful conversations with people. Also, it’s a guitar and they rock, so yeah.

I have been so happy as of late, and I can not place why. I’m just content. I was ecstatic when I woke up and I was happy to get to work. I just feel really good. Rock on, I know. This also had nothing to do with me having fun with my harmonicas on the way to work.

It was nice not having to really pay attention to the radio. There was noise and I wasn’t sick of it. Not that I do not have a lack of differing music to listen to in the DFW metroplex, but it is sometimes nice not to have to listen to music. Yes, here I was mentioning I was going to appreciate music more, but I listen to music almost all day so I need a break from certain songs popping up and I’m not looking to listen to really obscure music right now. If that makes much sense, tell me, and please explain to me how my weak argument won you over.

The last few days have been going by pretty quickly too. The fact that I slept a lot makes the days just speed by, and I forget how long I’ve been awake for without any decent amount of sleep. I check my mail and I’m surprised I’ve got 9 messages already, or what feels like an already. Usually I’m sitting at my computer watching outlook download any message I may get. Okay, just got a bit tired, maybe a nap wouldn’t kill me after work. Perhaps I can do that before I eat lunch with Mel. I hope she is awake at ten so I confirm we are eating, otherwise I’m going to go off and do something else.

Politics in Business Midterm...Check

Listening to 3 Doors Down: The Better Life

Well the mid-term went well enough to say that I am satisfied with the results. I’m a bit too wound tight to consider how the professor made the exam and what my impressions of it were. Yes, it is a bit weird to be thinking about that stuff, but it helps in the long run I feel. Yes, I can say I’m deep and state: I am looking to better myself by wanting to understand everything. I really don’t know how to say it in a non-corny way. I just like to know. Yeah, there we go. Well, the midterm did go well. I was there are reasonable time, I believe I gave decent answers, and this is all considering I hadn’t even looked over the material before today. I hope I got a good grade still, because I could have walked away with a feeling of, “I so bombed that exam,” but I do not feel that way. I expect good things. I pray for good things.

Man it is so weird that I’m not really sure where to post this. Nobody reads my mentalramblingssoapbox blog and yet I have a dislike for the entity_of_thought myspace blog, but I can see that it is getting views. An aggravating bit is that it shows me how many people have viewed my blog by day, week, and total, yet when I click the tab for whose read it I see nothing. Not that I see anything anyway. Oh well.

Yeah, I’ll probably keep the blogspot one going for the heck of it. It’s more fun. More inspirational to myself, and it doesn’t look as nasty as myspace. I didn’t keep the livejournal because I couldn’t get it to look nice. On the bright-side is it does lead to some decent communications. Maybe I’ll just go ahead and create a large internet presence, or the largest I can muster for myself. Maybe I’ll tie my OkCupid account to it as well, and no dissing the free dating site. Amazing that I can’t get a date that site either, seems the girls look for friends, have a relationship and keep that account going, or leave an account open with, you can look…but don’t you touch. No-no, no touching.

How things are going, so simple, yet so painful

Listening to Alien Ant Farm: Courage

Well, I think that so far things are going well, and yet everything is not going anything like I wanted it to be going. I was on top of things at the start of summer as far as school was concerned. I was taking that Law in Literature class, which helps me in English a bit, or rather in how to respond to it. Sounds easy, but it isn’t at that level. I have a hard enough time with English and writing, so I thought that I would work on it, and even risk my GPA on it. So far so good I got a B- in a subject that usually hurts my GPA pretty badly. I’m very proud of that. As far as the Politics in Business and Understanding Art goes, I am behind. I haven’t been on top of things like I should have, but I need a break. I’ll be diving right back into school as soon as these classes end, and I’ll just keep going. Hopefully the fact that these classes will not be 8 or 6 week condensed classes will allow me to get ahead and get back to a place I need to be. I am behind in so many projects and I put effort into things that turn out to be unnecessary. Surprisingly I think I’m going to be ready for this Midterm, as long as it is as common-sense as I think it is going to be. I need to find my good pens for that.

Well with Antonia gone, I am a free agent as my co-workers put it. I love this two-word titles that I’m getting now-a-days. To go off on a tangent, I am a functioning alcoholic, with walking pneumonia, who happens to be a free agent. I love this. Well anyway, Antonia is gone and now I’m back on the market, which sucks. One reason is that once my friend Tina knows this she may try to initiate something, which I don’t want. That is if she isn’t upset that I haven’t been available to hang out, but she works two jobs, and I work and go to school and the only times we’ve had to hang out were when I dropped by after no sleep and I was about ready to collapse.

The job is the job. I’ve been there for over a year now. One year and one month as of July 6^th, which happened to be my birthday. I’ve gotten so much work to do there, I have got to get it together and plow through it. I bit off a bit more than I can chew, and if I don’t tread water I’m going to drown. I have a project that involves going through all the old LPARS involving forklift accidents. It’s just an exercise in getting a file for ourselves so we can do some tracking. It is more of a time-consuming pain than anything. Most paperwork is I guess.

Glow, Newbies, Available, and giving me Myspace

Listening to Alien Ant Farm: Glow (I have listened to other music since the last time).

I have 65+ hours of music saved onto my computer from compact disks and the internet (legally). Yet, I keep listening to the song “Glow” by Alien Ant Farm. I just liked the beat, but listening to lyrics makes me like it more. I usually have two phases with a song. I like it for a few rifts, beats, and choice words. Later I finally listen to it over and over again so much I rediscover it in its entirety. I wonder if this means I was just lazy the first time I listened to the song.

Listening to Warp Brothers: Smells Like Teen Spirits (House Spirit Club Mix)

Well, the two part-times we got for the department start today. I’m not trying to divulge any confidential information here, and I’m not. I’m worried about the one from Michigan(?) being a bit awkward. I’ll note that concern later on after I see how it turns out, for better or for worse. On the good side, they are guys around my age, not that I don’t love with working with Ron, but this should make work enjoyable for me, not that it hasn’t been…off and on, but I think this is a positive step.

Listening to Incubus: Megalomaniac

Well Antonia and I are no more, which I forgot to write about. It ended well, I got the text message from her notifying me of what was getting to be understood, we weren’t going to make it with her going to Austin. Thankfully, I was already in the bar, and the fact I hadn’t heard from her in about a week prior eased the blow to the equivalent of a toothpick denting a giant Redwood. I’m not implying I’m a giant redwood; I just wanted a decent visual. We both knew it was going sour, and I hope her the best, she is still a good friend, who forgot to call me on my birthday like she said she would. I’m not bitter, never bitter. This trip down it was awkward for her to get her stuff, and awkward for me, but later on we may hang out, which is good, because I intend on whooping her sorry gamer butt at some games the next time I see her. If I minus her trip to Austin we may have been at two months. So if I apply the day for every month, or even a week for every month, I’m ready to keep going. …next.

Listening to…a Playlist with many songs, and I’m not going to write them all. …Okay Shinedown: I Dare You (the song rocks)

Well, I should be going to work in a bit. I got Myspace up and running. http://www.myspace.com/entity_of_thought is the link to it. Oh, and to continue on this twisted maze, the link to the original Soapbox, is not being given out. Not that anybody cares. Well chow-mein everybody.

Minor Update

Well, I just finished The Name of the Rose and The Return of Martin Guerre. I have so much more to read, and I wish I could eventually return to the books I want to read for fun. ...sigh.

Disclaimer: There is a nipple

Listening to Alien Ant Farm: Glow

This is the first picture I think I look hot in. If anything, I love my expression, the way Munchkin looks, and the timing of the camera. I should try more action shots. Maybe I should return to a hobby of stunt work. No, Bryan, you only did that once for a bad film your friend made. You also got hurt. David was being a pansy and kept stopping to early. If he had gotton closer I wouldn't have had to run at his truck so we could make it look like I was being hit. Funny thing, I got hurt during one of the takes when I had made it look like I got hit, kicked off the front, and landed funny. Also, landing on berries makes it look like you are bleeding.

Oh, anyway. There is a nipple, please don't freak. The dog has way more of those than me. I've now made this naughty. This is a decent, morally non-objectionable (I hope) picture. I was wearing jeans, and I wish that showed up better. Tater-cakes for everyone. The real food for me.

Drink of Choice:
Seagram's Pineapple Coconut Calypso Colada
Drinke counter:
Two

Why did I do this again?

Listening to Alien Ant Farm: 1000 Days

Well tomorrow, or rather later today, I start my government class. So I am in my Law and Literature class from from 1-5 and then in my Business in Politics class from 6-10 tonight. I also have my midterm in the first class even though it only begins the third week of the six week course. I had excellent reasons for wanting to do this. I am ambitious, and I am someone who apparently needs mental help. Send the boys in the wagon.

I'll have to update on how it went later. For now, I should get some sleep. The sooner I sleep, the sooner I will feel like I have awakened. I bought myself some Lucky charms and a can of an energy drink alcoholic beverage. I think that will jump start my morning. I've never had one of those before, I wonder if my brain will melt before my sanity or vice-a-versa. I jest. Surely.

Do I smell smoke?

Listening to 3 Doors Down: Going Down in Flames

I feel like I’m waiting for something bad to happen. I don’t know what, but I don’t really want to go to work. Yes, I know many people don’t want to go to work, but I’ve liked work. Things never seem right there. I don’t want to just go through the motions. I’ll figure a way to fix things. I must fix these things or I am going to go crazy again. You laugh, but I’m serious-unserious-nominally-serious about this. I know about as much about what I’m saying as you do. Viva la Pancake revolution. Tater-tots for everyone, and tip your waitress that shiny buffalo head nickel that Gengiz Khan and his time marauding hordes brought with them from Napoleon’s birthday bash.

I haven’t seen Time Bandits in a long time. Random. I guess that is one of Gilliam's three movies, which include Brazil, and The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen, in which I love the disembodied head of Robin Williams. Well, back to Time Bandits. I haven't seen it in so long I never realized that the Monty Python troupe was involved. Makes sense to me.

Update on Literature I; Update on Writing I

Listening to: Incubus Wish you were here

Well I managed to start writing again. No, not just writing in this blog. I started writing my story again.

I have to say I’m pretty impressionable if I am getting such influence from my Law and Literature class. I also have to state that I am going to have to sit down and read all of Kafka’s works, and yes the numerous English translations. From my Translation class we explored not only numerous versions of Kafka’s Metamorphisis, but the translator, the critics, and the critics of the critics. If I beg for mercy can I be content to saying, Kafka is good minor literature and is influencing my writing as far as law based, literature can. I found his Trial is going to be one of my favorite works to read and re-read. I have never felt this impacted by any author on a personal and academic level.

I have to read Faust now. I’m sure once I get past the hard language I will be able to gleam lots from it. At the least, I can see all the connections it has made on later culture. A witch with monkey’s I wonder if that showed up anywhere else. Apparently there was a real Faust, but he was overshadowed by this supernatural Faust. Thankfully, I know where the Mephistopheles references were coming from. That kept flying right over my head when someone would say, “I made a deal with Mephistopheles.” Now I know, Yo-Joe.

I have to also read Posner, which I am not looking forward to. The man is a judge and I don’t hear good things in class about his writing. The professor wanted a text to bounce discussions off of. This is ideal I guess. I’m just going to go with it. I’ll have more to say when I read and catch up on that. His text Law and Literature is actually our main textbook for the class. Go figure.

Pointless Rambling: No idea what to do (Addition)

I miss her. I wanted to write something else, but this is all I can think of. I miss her.

Pointless Rambling: No idea what to do

Listening to The Cars: Just What I Needed

I love this song, and that is regardless of the fact I saw one of my first bosses on the counter doing an air guitar and kicking in the air to it.

Well among all things, my girlfriend is moving to Austin, “Surprise.” I am a bit bummed on this fact. I got nothing else I want to say about it right now. I’m not taking it hard, but I am bummed. I am not sure what I should be doing right now. She would probably tell me homework or games. I am going to opt for some gaming maybe. Possibly.

She dared to tell me I was a fake gamer. I was playing games five years before she was. It’s not my fault I have to work and I’m taking a lot of classes, and I want to see her.

I’ve also been playing Hearts of Iron 2 a lot. I’ve played it, and then screwed around with the settings. I got nothing else I can really do with it and I just realized I’m done with that game. I don’t just play games, I like to devour it until I’m sick of it. Now I can move onto another game. I have a lot to catch-up on.

Declaration of Pointlessness

Listening to Buckcherry: Crazy Bitch

Well I haven’t been on for awhile. I don’t want this to turn out like my last journal, and it won’t. I’m not nearly as whiny. So much has happened, which isn’t that just classical to say. Now to anger everyone I should not say a word at this point. Why you probably won’t ask? My reply is that there are no stupid questions, as long as one refrains from asking them.

Poster Fixation

Listening to Nickelback: Animals

Alright, sound the trumpets I got some links added to this page. If you realized that I had it set up earlier and accidentally switched to another website before saving, you would realize how special this moment is for me, or rather how happy I am that the tiny bit of frustration is over with. A few minutes and I was done, but it was the fact my efforts were frustrated on the first go.

Is it wrong that I see a poster and I want to see the movie because of that? Hard Candy is showing at the Angelika currently and I had the same reaction I did to the Lord of War and Thank you for Smoking Posters. Nice package, kind of witty and/or interesting. I look into the synopsis and I want to see the movie. A picture of Red Riding Hood standing on a large bear trap is just awesome.

Fiber Frosted Fiber Flake Rhapsody Session

Listening to Linkin Park: Place for my Head

Another sleepless night, and let me state, clocks everywhere in the room do not help me. It becomes a game. “Oh, it’s only two in the morning, I have plenty of time for sleep,” which becomes, “Oh, just a few more minutes, I’ll just sleep in,” or, “I only need three hours of sleep, I should be able to make it.” Eventually it becomes a deranged game of, how little sleep can I survive on.

Brownie points to me if I don’t fall down the stairs when I go for breakfast. In fact, I may just designate myself kudos if I can drive for more cereal and survive. That is, if it turns out I’m sick of eating Lucky Charms for breakfast. I think a bit of my inner child just died when I wrote that. Pass the fiber frosted fiber flakes and put it in a small bowl of prune juice. Small bowl, I have to watch the calorie intake now-a-days. Prune juice and fiber flakes, and I wonder why some elderly need grampers.

The saddest part is I spent precious moments overnight searching the internet for interesting content. I downloaded sound clips from Family Guy fan sites, and I didn’t even find the one I want. I was looking for a clip of Mayor Adam West talking about how he likes his taffy and the sounds of him enjoying it. Don’t ask, just chock it down as an auditory craving of mine. I really didn’t even look that hard now that I think about it.

Paint it Black, a focus

Listening to Ottmar Liebert with Luna Negra, and The Waterdogs respective renditions of Paint it Black

Tonight has not been the best example of my decision making process concerning music transitions. Ottmar Liebert and Luna Negra’s version of Paint it Black is almost twice as long, fast yet slow, but soothing. I am full of such diverse terminology in regards to music. I get to The Waterdogs’ version of Paint it Black, and the transition reminds me of when my brother showed me how he could change gears and use his engine to break his car. Basically, one notices a difference.

Listening to Ottmar Leibert with Luna Negra, The Waterdogs, The Rolling Stones original Mono version, The Rolling Stones Aftermath Remastered version, Steve Fister, and The Hampton String Quartet respective renditions of Paint it Black.

I just realized I liked the guitar versions of this song so much, but I never had the original Rolling Stones version. So I had to buy it off Napster, plus some other versions. Now when I want my Paint it Black kick I can really drive it home. Picture a fist in the air. That’s the drive it home visual I want you to have.

Steve Fister’s version if played loudly will probably be the one to pierce my ears, and I thought The Waterdogs was the intense version. Fister’s is just more shrill, but it is more refined, if I can call it that. Not as much, “let’s see how hard we can play this as a group,” which seems to define the Waterdog’s version. Fister sounds more like he likes his solo on the guitar. Steve Fister’s version also has what sounds like a miniscule amount of Middle Eastern flair with occasional bits of repetitive zany sitcom-ish beats. Guess which one I am listening to at this exact moment.

I contemplated getting another artist’s version, but it sounded like it fell between The Waterdogs and the Rolling Stones versions. The artist sang and it sounded like a warbled version of the Stones. Sounded nice, but it didn’t stand out enough for right now. I can’t believe I already forgot the artist’s name, and it was so distinct.

I meant this to be a post on something else, but I got so caught up in this that I had a hard time thinking of anything else, especially once I wanted the Stone’s version.

Inquiry of the "Scemotto"

Listening to Dwight Yokum: Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Remastered LP Version)

Antonia sent me a text on April 29^th: Can I call u my “muffin of doom !!!” in a good way ? :)

This was randomly text to my cell-phone. So I thought it would be fitting as a random start to this post.

I am enthralled by women who speak foreign languages, minus non-Castillian Spanish. I like it when she speaks Italian to me, except when she tells me something in a word or phrase and won’t tell me what it means. She sent me a text the same day: Italian: scemotto!and if u want 2 know what that means look it up ;b

We were playfully arguing and I assumed it was a term of endearment. I waited until just now to translate it on-line. I now know how to say fool (stupid) in Italian. Now I’m wondering what the French phrase meant, which she told me two days ago.

Amaretto Peppermints Rhapsody Session

Contractions baffle me. I am not concerned with world hunger because I have a cure for that. Lot’s of uncorrupted communism. I am sorry; I meant to say, “Sharing.” I could be concerned with cancer, but I am not mathematically or scientifically inclined so the best I could do is support a walk.

Are Contractions of concern, are they a sign of laziness, or are they useful. I almost wonder if it sounds more proper to speak out, “I am” instead of “I’m,” or “will not,” instead of “won’t.” I sometimes get the impression that it is a slang that everyone uses without thinking about. It is no better or worse than “ain’t.”

On one side, contractions serve to shorten the long conversations you want to end with someone you do not want to speak to. Think of the precious second here or there, because we are in a hurry to communicate.

On the other side, I think, “Can’t we get married?” sounds worse than, “Can we not get married?”

I am more likely to give someone a brownie point for not using a contraction. I think it sounds more intelligent, the speech less hurried and more thoughtful. Of course when one desires to communicate a lot, it may not hurt to cut corners. I don’t think anyone really cares.

Introduction

Well I have left Soapbox, so hopefully a fresh start will do me good. If you don’t know what Soapbox is, do not feel left out; nobody knew what it was and no one visited. On to better things and the questions that drive me, such as why do I only think to write when I am extremely tired and not really capable of deep meaningful thoughts? I believe it is all down hill from here, but I could surprise myself. Then again, I may just do the same old thing I always do. Let’s find out.

One question is why I have this fascination with coffee shop world-beat/new-age guitar music all of the sudden. I’ve been listening to Acoustic Alchemy and Ottmar Leibert, the latter’s Barcelona nights becoming my favorite mental jam of the genre. I have a visual of my head being a sandwich when I say that, but I’m not sure what else to describe it as. His music makes me so happy that I just like to sit back and relax, which makes it hard to continue writing. I’ll blast some Panic at the Disco, and start heading to the heavier stuff.

That may have been too much of a change too soon. I may have wanted to go with Barenaked Ladies to help in the transition, but I like every track of the A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out disc; it is lots of mental candy. The red stripes are cinnamon. I think I’m so content with this music, it is having the same effect on the speed in which I write this, and the only difference is I am going to be less inclined to sleep. To heck with it, on to Alien Ant Farm’ disc Truant. I feel like I am name dropping.

Okay, this intro is getting tied up, now. I mean right now. I’ll continue on with other posts. Miss me. Nay, miss me with anxiety.